A warm Sunday afternoon; what better time to take your dog for a walk? Though I do not own a dog, nor do I particularly like them, I was fortunate enough to be invited to an Improv Everywhere stunt yesterday in which 2000 other strangers and I walked dogs around a Brooklyn neighborhood. Invisible dogs, that is. We were each given leashes which were essentially ropes that had been woven around a rigid metal wire, looped at one end and connected to a tiny leather dog harness at the other. When the leashes were held outward, with the harness hovering a few inches above the ground, it appeared as if we were walking dogs that could not be seen. This device is not new, in fact is has been around since the 70's, but reactions to it are always novel. Because this, and most all other Improv Everywhere stunts, was intended to invoke reactions from bystanders, I would like to report on a wide range of them. I'll get right into the action.
Walking an invisible dog is strange at first, especially if you're shy like I am. I did not know what I was getting into when I showed up for this stunt, but I had some idea that it would be a large group activity. In a way, this was a group activity, but it encouraged participants to use their individual imaginations. That was intimidating at first. When you learn that you'll be spending the next hour or two not with other conspirators but by yourself, there is a quick evaluation that takes place. The lady standing next to me decided it wasn't worth it and left, but I am glad I stayed. I had somewhere else I could have been, but I got over the initial fear of feeling silly with the anticipation of transformation. It doesn't happen immediately, but as you get used to the feel of the leash in your hand and you become more comfortable with the imaginary image of the dog you're walking, you're no longer a silly person; you're an actor out to convince the world.
My dog's name was Fester. Not having an actual dog of my own, I wasn't able to immediately think of various mannerisms to embody him with, so I pretended to nonchalantly walk him down random residential streets while gazing at my iPhone like any other self-absorbed vanity dog owner. The quirks slowly came to me. When I wanted to pause to write an email, I'd stop for a minute with Fester beside a fire hydrant. When a fellow conspirator passed me by with an invisible dog of their own, Fester would try to play with it, often causing me to pull him away from the distraction. Innocent bystanders gazed on in disbelief. I saw some conspirators playing fetch with their invisible dogs, having let them off the leash. Some stopped by the local veterinary emergency room to the amusement of the nurses. I glanced around to be sure nobody would see me out of character as I took a picture of Fester sitting beside a "Dogs must be on leash at all times" sign.
Along the main streets, things got more interesting. Interacting with bystanders was the hard part, but it only took a few tries to perfect. There was a wide range of emotions that these invisible dogs invoked and they became more novel the further from the gathering point that I walked. Some people exclaimed that all the crazies should be taken off the streets. A few invisible dog owners reported that their pets had been beaten severely and intentionally by umbrellas. I was approached to explain the phenomenon of all these invisible dogs several times and my answers were always consistent. It was a nice day to take your dog for a walk. My dog is a new designer breed. It doesn't shed or poop, which is very advantageous. Someone must have gotten wind of this being the newest designer dog because there sure was a lot of them around. No, I was not petitioning for a new dog park.
When given my explanation, some people were actually quite mad at me. "You're seriously going to give me that answer?" Was there any other answer to give? Yeesh . Occasionally, I would be walking past a group of bemused innocents when Fester would decide to dash into a group of pigeons, dragging me along with him as they scattered. Their laughter was rewarding. Getting children to pet Fester was magical. To see them use their imaginations along with me was warming. On occasion, I would try to enter a store, but was told that no pets were allowed. I graciously apologized and left. You could tell I was totally new to this pet ownership deal. Fester would also try to sniff the butts of dogs that you COULD see, prompting the owners of those dogs to say mean things. They were just jealous of my popular breed.
When it came time to leave, I contemplated keeping the leash for novelty reasons, however I decided to be good and returned Fester to his home. Though it would be fun to repeat this experiment in my own neighborhood without any co-conspirators around, it wouldn't have been right to steal what was lent to me despite the fact that the factory making these got a lot of free publicity at my expense. I was repaid with the amusing memories of having participated in this inventive stunt.
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